Back to the Grindstone

Some lucky South Carolinian just won Power Ball. That means I, nor any one I am related to, won the quarter of a billion dollars. Too bad, I had all ready spent most of it. It would have been nice.

I could have paid off the credit cards. Of course I wouldn't require them anymore, so I wonder what the fee is to shove a card up a CEO's rectum is up to these days? I won't be finding out anytime soon.

And that tropical island I was eyeballing in the South Pacific, the Caribbean is too close for my tastes, isn't an option. No Mai Tais and cabana boys. No watching the sunset or sunrise from my private beach. Nope, looking like another cold and snowy winter in norther Indiana.

And a car I want, not one the one I settled on. Not that the roller skate is horrible, but I want a Range Rover. Or an Escalade. Something big and obnoxious. For a few weeks, then my hippiness would take over and I'd hire someone to convert it to a hybrid. I'd be rich, I could do what i want.

And my job. The one that doesn't feel like they need me, yet occasionally offers me overtime. The one that pays well, but still hasn't decided where they need me the most. Yeah, that one. I'll be back Sunday night.

Maybe, the next jackpot is only twenty million. Ten if you take the cash payout. After taxes, I might get to keep 2.5 to 3 million of that. Enough to pay everything off and follow my passion. Once i find it.

I have found Jesus

OK, not yet, but one day.

The next time I have a stray dog or cat wander into my life, I will name him Jesus. Because I finally found him. (Unless it is a girl kitty or puppy, then I'll name the furry little street walker Mary Magdalene.)

Since dog is just god spelled backwards or god is dog backwards (or ogd for the dyslexics out there), why not?

Think about it, before I found Jesus, my life was empty and without meaning. Now, my life is filled with joyous surprises when ever Jesus is left alone for three days, just watch your step.

Before Jesus, I wandering aimlessly through life. Now, Jesus leads me on his path, through the creek and often into oncoming traffic.

Before Jesus, confusion between the spiritual and worldly. Now, Jesus eliminates the worldly and brings me to the spiritual. One lovely 3 inched heeled leather shoe at a time. God damned puppy!!!!!!

Before Jesus, I awoke to the unknown. Now, the only way to start the day is with a silent prayer to Jesus for a miracle. He better make it outside or I'll crucify him.

So, before your life gets any more out of control, go find Jesus.

Procrastination as an Art Form

I'm suppose to be packing.  I hate packing.  Mostly because I don't really want or need all the stuff in the house.  Seriously, does anyone really need 75 pairs of socks?  And all the mateless socks, what to do with them.

Since I don't want to pack or admit to spending excessive amounts of time on the Internet, here is what I've accomplished tonight.

Destroyed a colony of empty shampoo, conditioner, and body wash bottles.  The dull razors tried to defend them, but were no match for a contractor bag.  Then I peed.

Enjoyed a delightful garden omelet at the Huddle House.  

Read a book.  Yes, I read an entire book, My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler.  I think that she may be my long lost sister.  Then I peed.

Mated up six pairs of socks.  Threw three sheets, two t shirts, and eight pairs of flip flops into a plastic storage bin.  Then I peed.

Went for coffee and waffles with Carrie.  Followed by a trip to Wal Mart.  Then I peed.

Spent some quality time on Facebook, bannination, and the Forum.  Cleaned out the freezer.  Then I peed.

In an attempt to prevent any actual productivity today, I am here blogging.  An activity that I have neglected for about a month.  And I checked up on my twitter account.  

Later in the day, I am going to spend a few minutes (hopefully only a few) at the DMV registering a car and getting a replacement title.  And I will spend a few minutes posting on bannination and Facebook some more.  And then I'm scheduled to donate blood.  

At several points, I will pee.

See anything to get out of packing.  Damned firemen, why did they have to be so prompt.