You know you're a douche nozzle

You know, when you take a can of Diet Dr Pepper out of the break room refrigerator that is mine, you're a douche nozzle.

You know, when you take frozen food out of your cart and let it thaw out in the cleaning supplies, you're a douche nozzle.

You know, when you are making a left turn out of a parking lot and you don't leave enough room for anyone to make a quick right, you're a douche nozzle.

You know, when you spread your seed  all over town and then don't bother to pay child suppport, you're a douche nozzle.

You know, when you lean across someone filling their diet coke at the quicky mart to  grab a  straw, you're a douche nozzle.

You know, when you run over a pet in the road and don't stop to help, you're a douche nozzle

You know, when that cute confident lady you email and Im tells you to sod off and you chose to cyber stalk, you're being a douche nozzle.

You know, when you interrupt the DVR to catch a game, you're a douche nozzle.

You know, when you break up with someone and hold on for their stuff for three months, you're being a douche nozzle.

You know, when you bounce a check for a party lite party, you're being a douche nozzle.

 

You know, when you take the last beer and didn't bother to bring any, you're being a douche nozzle

You know, when you always end up being the designated passenger while one of your friends gets to stay sober, you're being a douche nozzle.

You know, when you "find" some more stuff your ex forgot and you pretend like you lost her address, you're being a douche nozzle.

You know, when you call anyone at 2 O'clock in the morning to cry about being a lonely drunk loser, you're being a douche nozzle.

You know, when a friend goes out on a limb and includes you on their family plan and you duck out on a $150 cell phone bill, you're being a douche nozzle.

And finally, you know, when you're the spewer of hate for a major political party, you are a douche nozzle.

Fat and Not Happy

I use to be a size 4.  I liked buying anorexic sizes.  I still had the trademark pouch on my belly, but I wasn't fat.  I was just starting to firm up my jiggly bits. 

There was a time when I worked out at least three days a week.  It wasn't particularly structured, but I did work up a sweat and stayed small.  There were times I would stray from my routine and I noticed a change in my body and mood.

After my last tragic romance, I fell into a funk.  I started to eat meat and just didn't feel up. Well, seven months later and thirty pounds later, I'm a sad Amy.

The hardest part is getting back into the rhythm.  I worked out a little Monday and plan to go back Friday. 

My One and Only Politcal Post this Election Season

I live in an area dominated by cornpone conservatives.  These are farmers, small business owners, and discount non-unionized factory workers.  Many still buy into the belief that the Republican Party is the party of small government, fiscal conservation, and family values. And the Democrats are all about big government, tax and spend, and killing babies.

The truth is, the Republicans are, in my opinion, taking us towards a fascist state in the Orwellian tradition.  They've expanded the government.  They've created a network of private armies and mercenaries that answer to the dollar and not the Constitution.  And they can spy without reason or warrant.  No, I haven't forgotten about 9/11.  And no, I don't feel any more or any less safe than I did on 9/10.  I don't associate with terrorists and don't personally know any Muslims. 

And the number of people I know that are honest to goodness convinced that Barrak Obama is the anti-Christ, a Muslim, or not really a natural born citizen is just insane.  Some of them even quote the chain emails that taut these "facts."  They are also convinced that Sarah Palin (who really isn't running for office by the way) is an intelligent, strong, and independent woman.  Again, their source is either Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, or another email.

I was convinced I was surrounded by idiots until I started to see the Obama signs springing up on lawns.  And a few people I work with started chiming about the Republican failures and that change has to come soon.  And then I saw this:

The truth is, most of the people I know supporting McCain are white males. I don't think that they are racists, I think they're scared. For centuries, white males have dominated American society. They've run the government and they've run the companies. Up until now, they've given token power and influence to a select few women and people of color. Usually they were selected for their ability to conform to the white male proto-type.

This year, we've seen a serious challenge to that power. These men are not scared that Obama is a Muslim or a black man or a friend of terrorist. No, he is an American that happens to be black. And the white male establishment is terrified that someone my want paybacks. Or, that the new America will no longer treat them as the chosen ones. They are scared that they now will honestly have to accept that women, blacks, Hispanics, and the other non white males are their equals.