Cleaning House, Facebook Style

Dear Recently Unfriended Person,

Please don't take it personally.   See, I don't have a fancy iPhone or Blackberry or other smart phone.  I have more of C+ or B- kind of phone.  It won't take over a small country, but it keeps me connected to the world in an adequate manner.  It works for me.  But all your crap was driving me crazy.

If I unfriended you, I have never even met you.  I am more picky about my friends now.  So hopefully I won't have to go through with this again.

Some of you were connections made while I got sucked into a couple of Zynga crack-like games.  Your assistance virtually conquering the Middle Ages, Vampires, Bakers, and Farms was invaluable at the time.  Now is not the time.  I tried hiding the posts from the games, but you figured out how to get past that.  You started posting requests as status updates. And some of you found time to go on manic video posts binges, posting links to every music video Duran Duran ever made. So, buh-bye

The same goes for all the pages I "Liked." Most make post or two a day, some less frequent than that.  Those pages I still like.  Any page that felt like they were going to change the world by posting a link to an article with the same self important blurb, is no longer clogging things up.  Yes, Boycott BP, I'm talking about you.  And the Beer Party,  I love your name.  I applaud your dedication, but enough is enough with the half assed MS Paint edited pictures.  If you're going to display your cleverness with pictures, splurge for Photoshop.

So please, don't feel hurt or slighted when you realize your friend or fan count has dropped. Unless you're one of those friend whores.  Then get a life.  A real one.  Where you go outside.  And talk to real people.

It'll be O.K., you're not really a vampire.  I promise the sunshine won't hurt you.  Would an unfriend lie to you?