Seriously, if you're going to invade my sphere of power, a breath mint won't kill you. I promise the minty freshness of Double Mint or a Mentos won't hurt. Shit, pop in a cough drop, but coffee breath is a reprieve form that odor coming out of your pie hole. It might kill that garlic hang over you're having or smother the day after stale beer sweats, but actual harm will not befall you. If you need a clue about when a breath mint is in order, if someone is talking to you yet is trying to lean as far away from you as possible, grab some Big Red.
And is a shower too much trouble? You know water falling from the sky and a little soap? No, half a bottle of Axe or Lady Stetson will not mask the scent. Now we have a lovely mixture body odor, cheap perfume, and cigarette smoke. I can hold my breath for about 37 seconds, I hope I can be done with you quickly.
Of course there really aren't any stupid questions, but there are some very curious morons out there. If you ever ask me a question and my response is stunned silence, I am not dazzled by your brilliance, but more baffled by your stupidity. And the more big words you use, the worse it gets. Just remember, silence is golden.
The majority of customers I encounter are unremarkable, which is good. But every so often, there are a few that stand out. Usually because I can't drink enough to forget them. So if I don't remember you the next time you come in, it's a good thing
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