what if

i’ve spent so much time on what if

what if i were tall?

what if i were blonde?  (tried it, hated it)  or what if i was a red head? ( love it)

what if i had went to college?

what if i had more kids? what if i had no kids?

what never got married? what if i stayed married?


we spend so much of life holding on to “what if.”  what if i got into a better school.  what if i had studied more.  what if i had partied more.  what if, what if, what if, what if

there are people and places we can’t quite we hold onto for no rational reason.  like for some crazy reason a switch will flip and things will work out different.  that the boy that was such a jerk will find his inner gentleman.  or the boss that use to be such a control freak will finally learn to let go and trust people to do their job.  i accept that people can change, but when they change, they are looking forward.  they have accepted that what was is gone and holding onto it is an anchor holding them done, not a balloon helping them soar.

and that is the key.  to look back with hope without reason or move forward with joy without expectations.