My Sisters' Rules

I come from a large Catholic family.  A large, loud, possibly overbearing family.  I only get to visit a few times a year, which is all most people can take.  They have been known to chase off boyfriends, girlfriends, and a few spouses.  But all in all, anyone of us would bail the others out of jail.  Unless we're occupying adjoining cells.

There is no topic off limits at the dinner table.  Even when we are in public.  So, if you and your precious snowflake are seated anywhere near us be prepared for the following to be discussed:

Sex of all types.  Regular, oral, anal, masturbation.  

Drinking.  We like a good beer often.  One sister is obsessed with tequila

More sex

Which ever sibling isn't present 

Lack of sex

What a turd our father was

Gambling

And profanity will fly.  Hanging with my family isn't for the faint of heart.  And don't try to impress us.  With six of us left and the accompanying nieces and nephews, one of us has probably been there, done that, and one of us witnessed it.

We all work and most of us have spawned a replacement.  There are even a few great grandchildren for my mother to spoil.  The amazing thing is how stable the men turned out and how absolutely rowdy my sisters and I are.  Even the women that married into the family fit in. (We gave a sister-in-law a sympathy card when she married our brother.)  The men, well, Erin, Heather and I figure they're interchangeable.

So when I drug my friend up to Fort Wayne for the big Vera Bradley purse sale, I figured fun was a foot.  She's kind of a stick in the mud at home and even though she says she doesn't regret anything (and no, she didn't do anything stupid, illegal, or immoral) she still doesn't want too many details released.  

Personally, I try not to do anything that I'll have to explain away.  If I have fun and flash someone, oh well.  If I drink and end up singing karaoke, oh well that will never happen again.  If I do something stupid, I own up to it.  Erin knows a good attorney and my brothers keep bail money handy, so illegal is pretty well covered.  And immoral, well,  that's a very personal issue and I've done well in that area.

My sisters have a few rules to cover some gray areas:

1.  If you don't remember, it didn't happen

2.  Drunk people make bad witnesses, sometimes stories are exaggerated so don't believe everything you hear

3.  Anything that happens in a different country, area code, or zip code gets a free pass

4.  You have to buy all three sisters a drink to talk to one of us

5.  The next person that gets between me and the game will earn a beat down 

6.  If you want someones number, pretend to lose your phone 

7.  Married men are someone else's problem and we are not the solution

8.  Sisters don't leave sisters behind

Thems the rules, I didn't make them (expect #5), I just try to live by them.