On Saturday night, my sisters, my friend and I ended up at a karaoke bar, again. And there was kilt boy. He recognized my sister by her tattoos. Apparently they were in the tattoo shop getting inked at the same time.
So the ritual showing of the tats ensued. Leg tats, tramp stamps, and a few other were bared. I didn't have any to show, because I have commitment issues, and permanently stabbing ink under the dermis is pretty much more commitment than I can handle. Hell, I don't like buying canned foods if the shelf life is too long.
Well, I talked to kilt boy and found out that he's a vet and fireman (and will be hence forth known as fire boy). I knew I shopping in aisle 27 or 29, but that's better than aisle 22. A few beers and several shots of vodka later, I decided to talk to fire boy in the parking lot, since it was quieter.
Well, I shot him down. Not because he wasn't cute. He was plenty of that. But I didn't know his last name. I'm not on any type of birth control and I don't like kids much. And, my sisters would have broke into random window rapping, setting off car alarms.
So, I go back to the herd and we go home. OK, back to Erin's place, but close enough. Sunday morning bring demolishing the breakfast buffet at Azar's with the family and headed south and west for home.
On the return trip, I decided to stop at Chateau Thomas and pick up a few bottles of Indiana wine. As I was getting back in the car, I had a text message. What follows is a transcript of the three way text message conversation with my sister, fire boy, and myself. Keep in mind I'm flying down Highway 70, so all this takes place between Indianapolis and Terre Haute. Anything in italics is what I was thinking.
FireBoy: Id nail ur sister with the irish tats. huh
Me: I'll let her know
FB: Tell her to text me double huh
ME:No problem this is going to be funny
ME: forward slimy message to Erin
Sister: huh?
ME: I just got that from the fireman
SIS: that cuz men r pigs!
ME: See it was good that I left him hanging
SIS:that y i dont pick up men in bars. i just go out 4 the music & beer.. met will bowling.. met matt bowling.. met beerman bowling. c the pattern!?!
ME: Yuo. What's up with the ColtsD
Some random texts between Sister and I about football
ME: Fireman wants you to text him
SIS: no thanx he made out with my sister
ME: No glory pinch hitting
SIS:aint pinch hittin.. men r just pigs & that 1 of the rules no sharing
ME: Sister said she's not a relief pitcher
FB: Ouch
ME: We never were much on sharing
FB: Haha she'd fuc me and the one in the black shirt prouby would toits the kilt and big cock haha What a tool
ME: The one in the black is terminally married
FB: Yee whaa! Serious ur sis with tats doesn't like me? Nor wouldnt even make out
ME: Serious. She has someone. She'll flirt, but that about all she does. That and make sure I make it home
More random texts about football and the long drive home.
And yes, I actually spell thing out and punctuate my test messages. I'm a little anal about it, get over it.
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