You know you're a douche nozzle

You know, when you take a can of Diet Dr Pepper out of the break room refrigerator that is mine, you're a douche nozzle.

You know, when you take frozen food out of your cart and let it thaw out in the cleaning supplies, you're a douche nozzle.

You know, when you are making a left turn out of a parking lot and you don't leave enough room for anyone to make a quick right, you're a douche nozzle.

You know, when you spread your seed  all over town and then don't bother to pay child suppport, you're a douche nozzle.

You know, when you lean across someone filling their diet coke at the quicky mart to  grab a  straw, you're a douche nozzle.

You know, when you run over a pet in the road and don't stop to help, you're a douche nozzle

You know, when that cute confident lady you email and Im tells you to sod off and you chose to cyber stalk, you're being a douche nozzle.

You know, when you interrupt the DVR to catch a game, you're a douche nozzle.

You know, when you break up with someone and hold on for their stuff for three months, you're being a douche nozzle.

You know, when you bounce a check for a party lite party, you're being a douche nozzle.

 

You know, when you take the last beer and didn't bother to bring any, you're being a douche nozzle

You know, when you always end up being the designated passenger while one of your friends gets to stay sober, you're being a douche nozzle.

You know, when you "find" some more stuff your ex forgot and you pretend like you lost her address, you're being a douche nozzle.

You know, when you call anyone at 2 O'clock in the morning to cry about being a lonely drunk loser, you're being a douche nozzle.

You know, when a friend goes out on a limb and includes you on their family plan and you duck out on a $150 cell phone bill, you're being a douche nozzle.

And finally, you know, when you're the spewer of hate for a major political party, you are a douche nozzle.